Salary, Man

When I was a third-year law student at Columbia, I used to live on the same midtown block as Cravath, Swaine & Moore, a large and prestigious law firm. I would sometimes go out very late at night and stand by the front door as lawyers and their secretaries stumbled out like zombies well into midnight and beyond, totally oblivious to the world outside their fattening case files and pocketbooks.

"I will never become that," I would say over and over under my breath.

Yet, about a month ago, I was interviewed and accepted into the lineup of a corporate legal head-hunting agency, and tomorrow I'm going in for my first day as a document review attorney at another of the world's biggest and most prestigious firms in downtown Manhattan... a job that potentially involves 12 hours a day, 7 days a week of staring at a computer screen.

So what's the deal? Am I breaking a deep promise I made to myself?

Although I risk sounding like a litigator using his own skills of persuasion to delude himself, the simple but true answer is no. I didn't promise myself that I would never work hard, or work very long hours. Nor did I promise myself that earning money would never be the primary reason for my work. I promised myself that I would never be what I perceived in the faces of those men and women - miserable - trapped in the "game" by their own neuroses and yet blind to that fact, addicted to salary, status, and stress, in a constant state of distraction from what is real and important in this short life.

A BALANCED APPROACH TO HARD WORK

There is no question about it: The primary reason I am doing this work is to make a quick buck before leaving for Japan in August.

However, I'm also open to the possibility of getting much more than money out of being a corporate lawyer in New York City. I'm excited about the opportunity to contribute to others: Those who will be paying me, those who I'll be working alongside, and those many others who will potentially benefit from either the product of my work, the way in which I perform the work, or how I will choose to spend the fruits of my work. It is possible that being in the corporate law world will put me in a position to be of service to many people who desperately need it.

I'm also going to get an experience that relatively few people ever get. My meals will be taken care of, and I'll get chauffeured home in one of those black corporate cars. I'm going to meet people who are completely immersed in the world of business on the most massive scale, who I would probably have never met otherwise, and maybe learn about their unique values and perspectives. I'm going to experience time in a new way, where every moment can be exchanged for a significant amount of money; So I will have to learn to keep a balance, spending time outside the office with wisdom and precision in order to maintain health and happiness.

I am putting myself in a situation that I have feared and always imagined to be very uncomfortable. I am committed to using this as an opportunity to build awareness and peace, rather than trade those qualities away for shallower rewards. I go to it with great determination to succeed, an open mind, and ready to surrender to each moment as it reveals itself.

"Nothing worthwhile comes without great effort."